Updated: Aug 12, 2020
There are three types of people you need in your life. I got this concept from a friend about 12 years ago, Ashley Shows. I was in the military, and I wanted to volunteer for something outside of work and I couldn’t find anyone to go with me. I stopped by her treatment room (we were dental assistants) and just vented to her. She said, you need to have your regular friends, and you then you need to have another group of people that want to succeed in the same way that you do. She was right! I will never forget that conversation.
Your inner circle will determine your outcome in life. We are all struggling to make decisions in our life. We are all working diligently to become the best versions of ourselves for our children, for our spouses, and most importantly...for ourselves. When you are having an issue with making a decision, what is the first thing you do?? You ask your spouse, your sister, your friend. That’s not a bad thing, because you know they will give you an answer out of love. Those are the people who genuinely want you to be happy. I don’t want you to stop doing that, but I want you to use those opinions as options. I say options, because every time you talk to someone, they will give you a different solution to your problem.
You need to create a circle around you that has people who love you, but also people who are doing what you are doing in life and people who are where you want to GO in life!
I had a client who had an issue with deciding if she should leave her job and go work for a different company that poached her. The company she worked for had great benefits, decent salary, and upward mobility. The next company had benefits, potential for excellent salary depending on her effort in sales, and she would be able to work from home. She did what everyone does, she asked her family, who mainly told her it may not be good to leave her good job that she could advance in. She talked to her friends and co-workers who told her that they would miss her if she left and they wanted her to stay. Then she called me. I asked her what HER FUTURE goals are 1, 5, 10 years. I asked her what kind of life she wanted to live right now in order to make it to that. Based off her own answers and desire to be an entrepreneur, and other goals we discussed, she was able to see how upward mobility isn’t a factor.That just because your coworkers are comfortable where they are, that doesn’t mean you are. I explained to her that the relationships you will build through the next job, and being able to work from home in order to build her own business is invaluable.
If you ask someone who lives off the system they will probably suggest that you get what you can get. If you ask someone who works for a company with great benefits and they are happy with that, they will tell you to keep your head down and work. If you ask someone who owns their own business, they will tell you short term sacrifice is well worth the pay off and your time is everything, etc. YOU have to know what you want and where you are going, and design your life accordingly.